This story contains references to suicide and discusses assisted dying.

Life in Morecambe

Morecambe, United Kingdom – On a cloudy late July day, 71-year-old Alex Pandolfo messaged me via WhatsApp before our meeting at Lancaster train station. He humorously mentioned that he couldn’t remember what I looked like, urging me to give him a friendly kick if he didn’t recognize me.

As I approached the platform, I noticed his initial hesitation transform into a warm smile of recognition.

Morning Rituals

To ensure he arrived at the station, Pandolfo set several alarms the night before. Waking up at 7 am was a routine that juxtaposed reminders of loved ones with the preciousness of each morning. “Every morning is precious,” he asserted.

His daily schedule is meticulously organized through multiple alarms linked to his calendar, reminding him of appointments and tasks. “I find it hard to process new names and faces,” he explained.

Living with Alzheimer’s

Diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease in 2015, Pandolfo has defied initial expectations of rapid decline. He uses about ten alarms daily to assist with his memory, covering everything from grocery shopping to cooking. Despite living with Alzheimer’s, he finds joy in hosting dinners and staying active with community events.

However, he is also aware of the impending challenges that come with the disease, declaring, “I’ve never been afraid of death. I’m afraid of not having any quality of life.”

Freedom of Choice

Pandolfo resides alone in a cozy home adorned with vibrant concert posters from famous bands. Music is his lifeblood, shaping his worldview and fueling his passion for political activism. His belief in personal freedom extends to choices surrounding death. He plans to travel to Switzerland for assisted dying when necessary, a choice he equates with living life more fully.

Reflections on Family

Pandolfo’s journey with dementia wasn’t just about himself; it was also shaped by watching his parents, both diagnosed with the disease. Observing their struggles fueled his advocacy for assisted dying. He recalls poignant moments with his father, who longed for a dignified exit from life.

Advocacy for Dignified Death

In recent years, Pandolfo has channeled his experiences into activism, advocating for changes in assisted dying laws in the UK. Recently, the Terminally Ill Adults (End of Life) Bill was passed in the House of Commons, marking a pivotal moment in the fight for compassionate healthcare rights.

Despite the bill’s progress, concerns persist regarding its implications for individuals with complex conditions like Alzheimer’s. Pandolfo argues, “Everyone deserves a dignified death, not just those who can afford it.”

Looking Ahead

After a surgery for kidney stones, he continues to reflect on living with Alzheimer’s. He strives to maintain a balanced mindset, navigating his cognitive challenges with humor and resilience. “Dying and the way that someone dies are two different things,” he notes, emphasizing his desire to live fully until the end.

Conclusion

Alex Pandolfo’s journey encapsulates the complexity of living with Alzheimer’s and the philosophical questions surrounding life and death. His advocacy for assisted dying reflects a profound commitment to dignity, autonomy, and the right to choose. In the face of uncertainty, he chooses to embrace each moment, reminding us that each day is a gift.

If you or a loved one is experiencing suicidal thoughts, help and support are available. Visit Befrienders Worldwide for more information about support services.